Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
