honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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