Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
