i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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