i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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