come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
