I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
