seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
