Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
