It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
