she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
