he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
