but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
