walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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