shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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