Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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