Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
