i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
