WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
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