I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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