The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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