when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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