pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
