I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
