I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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