the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
