ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
