Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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