maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
