This girl is more easily done than said...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
