ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
