Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
