My first STD was from a foam party
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
