I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
