I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
