so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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