I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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