Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
