just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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