just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
