Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
