they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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