That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
