Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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