Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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