They should really pass out barf bags in church
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
