Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
