I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
