Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
