i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
