Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
