You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
