Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
